Weddings

By now the pomp and pageantry from the royal wedding have died down and Prince Harry and his bride (the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) are on their way to happily ever after. The media surrounding the monarchs made note of the fact that Meghan Markle’s father would not be present to walk her down the aisle. Instead the bride walked to her beloved accompanied by children and, in the last half of the journey, by her future father-in-law.

A father walking his daughter down the aisle has been a tradition in weddings of all faiths. It may stem from a superstition that claims it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the procession, but the tradition actually harkens back to a time when marriages were arranged as business deals. The father would give his daughter away in exchange for money and other goods. Today we trust that the couple comes freely and begins their relationship as equal partners. This is one reason this ritual, and the line, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” is nowhere to be found in the Catholic Rite of Marriage.

The Order for Celebrating Matrimony in the Catholic Church was revised in 1991 by Rome and, after a lengthy translation process, was made available to Catholic churches in the United States in 2016. This most recent edition offers two options for the opening procession. In one form, the guidelines simply state that the priest goes to the place prepared for the couple or to his chair. The couple takes their places, but there are no directives as to how the get there. In this case, many options for the procession are allowed: the father and/or the mother (or anyone else) could walk down the aisle with the bride, she could walk by herself, or she could walk alongside the groom.

In the other option, the priest and the servers go to the door to greet the bride and groom, their parents and the witnesses. The priest expresses the joy and hospitality of the church community and helps the wedding party to transition from the stress of the preparations for the day to focus on the spiritual occasion at hand.

Following the greeting, a single procession moves toward the altar. The procession may include elements seen at a procession at Sunday Mass such as incense, a cross, and the deacon carrying the Book of the Gospels. In the original Latin edition of 1991, this form of the procession includes the parents of the couple. Nowhere does it say that only the father is included in the procession. The priest and ministers lead the procession with the bride and the groom walking together at the end.

Having the bride and groom walk together expresses the Catholic belief that the marriage is about a man and a woman starting a life together. It also communicates the Church’s teaching that the bride and bridegroom are the primary ministers of the sacrament. In fact, it is their mutual consent, their “I do” that is the central part of the marriage rite. Any extras, such as the lighting of the unity candle or a devotional presentation to an icon or statue of the Mother of God, are just that—extras. It’s the mutual promise to be faithful to the end that counts. No other ritual could top that—not even a carriage ride to Windsor Castle!