Weddings

By now the pomp and pageantry from the royal wedding have died down and Prince Harry and his bride (the Duke and Duchess of Sussex) are on their way to happily ever after. The media surrounding the monarchs made note of the fact that Meghan Markle’s father would not be present to walk her down the aisle. Instead the bride walked to her beloved accompanied by children and, in the last half of the journey, by her future father-in-law.

A father walking his daughter down the aisle has been a tradition in weddings of all faiths. It may stem from a superstition that claims it is bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the procession, but the tradition actually harkens back to a time when marriages were arranged as business deals. The father would give his daughter away in exchange for money and other goods. Today we trust that the couple comes freely and begins their relationship as equal partners. This is one reason this ritual, and the line, “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” is nowhere to be found in the Catholic Rite of Marriage.

The Order for Celebrating Matrimony in the Catholic Church was revised in 1991 by Rome and, after a lengthy translation process, was made available to Catholic churches in the United States in 2016. This most recent edition offers two options for the opening procession. In one form, the guidelines simply state that the priest goes to the place prepared for the couple or to his chair. The couple takes their places, but there are no directives as to how the get there. In this case, many options for the procession are allowed: the father and/or the mother (or anyone else) could walk down the aisle with the bride, she could walk by herself, or she could walk alongside the groom.

In the other option, the priest and the servers go to the door to greet the bride and groom, their parents and the witnesses. The priest expresses the joy and hospitality of the church community and helps the wedding party to transition from the stress of the preparations for the day to focus on the spiritual occasion at hand.

Following the greeting, a single procession moves toward the altar. The procession may include elements seen at a procession at Sunday Mass such as incense, a cross, and the deacon carrying the Book of the Gospels. In the original Latin edition of 1991, this form of the procession includes the parents of the couple. Nowhere does it say that only the father is included in the procession. The priest and ministers lead the procession with the bride and the groom walking together at the end.

Having the bride and groom walk together expresses the Catholic belief that the marriage is about a man and a woman starting a life together. It also communicates the Church’s teaching that the bride and bridegroom are the primary ministers of the sacrament. In fact, it is their mutual consent, their “I do” that is the central part of the marriage rite. Any extras, such as the lighting of the unity candle or a devotional presentation to an icon or statue of the Mother of God, are just that—extras. It’s the mutual promise to be faithful to the end that counts. No other ritual could top that—not even a carriage ride to Windsor Castle!

Sunday

What are your childhood memories of Sunday? Was it a day that began with worship? Was it a time set aside to spend with family and friends? Were there special meals or other family rituals?

Sunday for my family meant going to Mass first thing in the morning. Since my hometown was largely populated by Italians, Sunday was the day we ate pasta. I can still smell the aroma of homemade tomato sauce which filled our house on Sundays. In the afternoon, we would sit out on the front porch or we would “go for a ride” to visit relatives or visit the graves of our loved ones at the cemetery. Then we would stop at McDonalds or go for an ice cream. It was a special day, sacred in fact, because we did things on Sunday we didn’t normally do during the rest of the week.

Whatever your childhood memories of Sunday, chances are that your current experience is different. Times have changed. These days, most people use Sundays to catch up on all the work that didn’t get done the rest of the week. Sundays have become filled with scheduled school and sports activities, leaving little time to observe the special nature of Sunday, as directed in the book of Deuteronomy:

“Observe the Sabbath day, to keep it holy, as the Lord your God commanded you. Six days you may labor and do all your work; but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord, your God. No work may be done then, whether by you, or your son or daughter.” (Deuteronomy 5:12-13)

The word for Sabbath in Hebrew is Shabbat, which is a name for God. The Sabbath is a day to praise God for God’s goodness and to make the day holy as God did in creating the Sabbath.

“When God created the seventh day, he blessed it, and he rested from all the work he had done.” (Genesis 2:3)

Scholars of the Talmud say the reason the Sabbath was created was not because God needed rest but in order to make rest holy, to demand rest of us so that by regularly resting in God, we could ourselves become new people. We are encouraged to keep the day by setting aside weekly routines, and giving ourselves permission to relax, be still, and partake in only those things which refresh our spirits. Our work, after all, will never be complete. But Sunday is not meant to serve merely our own renewal. Sunday frees us to fulfill the Lord’s command to “love one another” in ways we normally pass up during a busy week. Our very celebration of the Sunday Eucharist calls us to this service. As Pope Saint John Paul II exhorts:

“The Sunday eucharist commits the faithful even more to all the works of charity, of mercy, of apostolic outreach.” Dies Domini 69 

Hunger, Fullness and The Eucharist

Hunger is such a natural instinct we hardly give it a thought. Being hungry can mean anticipating, craving, longing, yearning, desiring, aspiring and hoping. There is always room for more.

Being full, on the other hand, can mean feeling uncomfortable, bloated, lethargic, drowsy, listless, heavy, passive, slothful and slow. There is no room for more.

When it comes to sharing in the body and blood of Christ, I wonder, are we hungry or full? This was a question implied in a letter written by Pope St. John Paul II in 1980 on the “Mystery and Worship of the Most Holy Eucharist.” The Pope was concerned that unlike decades past, everyone was now going to communion (emphasis added). He didn’t say this was a bad thing. He was merely trying to stimulate our awareness of what we do when we share in Christ’s body and blood by saying, “If our eucharist is authentic, it must make us grow in the awareness of the dignity of each person.”

That awareness of the dignity of all human beings begins with ourselves. Are we aware of our own dignity? Are we aware of how God sees us? Are we aware of how much God hungers for us? God anticipates, craves, longs and yearns for us. The Eucharist is an expression of God’s love which seeks to be one with us. When we partake in the sacred meal, God becomes ever more a part of us and we ever more a part of God. The Eucharist is a reminder that we are “oned” with God, as the great mystic Julian of Norwich put it.

The Eucharist is also a reminder that we are united to the community of believers, an understanding that was highlighted in a famous sermon to the newly initiated by St. Augustine.

“So now, if you want to understand the body of Christ, listen to the Apostle Paul speaking to the faithful: ‘You are the body of Christ, member for member.’ (1 Cor. 12.27) If you, therefore, are Christ's body and members, it is your own mystery that is placed on the Lord's table! It is your own mystery that you are receiving! You are saying ‘Amen’ to what you are: your response is a personal signature, affirming your faith. When you hear ‘The body of Christ’, you reply ‘Amen.’ Be a member of Christ's body, then, so that your ‘Amen’ may ring true!

May we who so casually and freely approach the table of the Lord realize what it means to say “Amen,” what it means to grow in the awareness of the dignity of each person, that our “Amen” may ring true!